Tag Archives: offline

Inside or outside

Yesterday I decided to have a day without checking my email, Instagram or anything else on the internet. I did that regularly when I was still living in the Netherlands and I felt it was good to do it again.

This morning I went to the guided morning meditation here in Dzogchen Beara. Later I had my first internet-time this day: I had a look at Instagram. I saw pictures of my friends and other people I follow. And this time I was very aware of how much it affected me. An hour before, when in was meditating, I was connected with myself, my inside. Now, by seeing all these pictures, my awareness went outside of me. 

Within a few minutes my attention went from people in the snow to concerts to travelling. And my mind had a lot of thoughts, associations and reactions. It wasn’t a nice feeling. It felt so restless all of a sudden.

It was quite fascinating though, to be so aware of these changes in myself.

It also became clear for me, once again, that although I do like to be in touch with other people, and the things internet has to offer, I have to find a way not to be carried away totally with it all. To find a way to stay in connection with myself, my inside, as much as possible.

Do I miss things?

Living for more than 5 months in the dorm of the hostel of this Buddhist center, at the end of a cliff.

Yes, sometimes.

I would like to be alone. Or go to the cinema (the closest one is an hour drive away). Or use the internet where and when I want. Or eat on my own. Or write on my laptop (which I didn’t take with me). Or talk to a specific friend who is in the Netherlands. Or walk to a supermarket (the nearest one takes only a 15 minutes drive, but since I don’t have to care, I have to find a lift or hitchhike).

Sometimes i want things like that. But I realize by now that i want them for a little while and then the longing or wanting passes by. The daily guided mediation helps. The peaceful surroundings too.

It is quite liberating to be in this place in my life where not all of my needs or urges can be fulfilled right away. Or in a few days, weeks or months. 

Because everything passes. Longings come and go. It is very good to experience that. It feels more peaceful to me. And I feel that there is more time and attention for other things. Like having really good conversations, enjoy my food more, pet the cats for a long while, read books,  write, contemplate on life, look at the stars, be amazed by the passing clouds and the sun on the sea, enjoy the Robins that come so close here.

And hopefully I can bring that feeling with me when I leave here next week, and go back to the ‘other’ world.

Disconnect to connect more

Before I came here I was used to be online most of the time. For the last years I had a mostly online business: online coaching, online courses, organizing events that required a lot of mailing. At the end i longed to be offline more and more. I planned days and weeks without internet and mail. I loved it.

And when last May a few of my longings came together and i decided to go away for a while, it was obvious for me that i also would be less online for at least a few months. No new blogs on my other site, not visiting Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and Pinterest (I already said goodbye to Facebook the year before). And to leave my smartphone and instead bring a old mobile phone.

And then i came to this place. With only a few spots with mobile phone connection. A -very old and slow- voluntary laptop that i could use at one specific place at certain hours. A sort of secret Wifi spot where i could connect with the outside world, but only after 5 pm and at a dry but quit uncomfortable place, where the only place place to sit is on the ground.

When it is so much hassle to get online, you get so much more efficient. And lots of things are not really worth the time and effort. Typing on a little tablet screen when sitting on a cold floor makes sure that you don’t type or browse to much.

Offline most of the time. I love it.

you are hereBesides, most of the time i have to work or spend my time walking, reading, having nice conversations, looking at the beautiful view or just sit with one of the cats. It is quit a relief to be in a place where not everybody is looking at their smartphone all the time.

Since a few weeks i made the decision to slowly get more online. My smartphone was send to me, so Whatsapp is back in my life. (Although i told that to almost no one until now).And i started to share pictures on Flickr and Instagram again. And i started this new site. Everything is a bit handier because i have sometimes access to a normal computer. 

I also felt the downsides of it all again. Checking Instagram and my mail quit a lot. It made me more anxious sometimes. Until i realized again that i don’t have to do check all this all the time.  And I can always make the decision, like last weekend, to not go online for a few days.

Because disconnecting actually connects me more: with myself and the people around me.